22 February 2013

It's been a while.

This morning I logged onto myfitnesspal and a little message popped up.  "amazon75 has logged in for 5 days in a row".  I started bawling.  

For so long, I was beyond dedicated, my logging was just shy of compulsive.  But the last few months I've gotten sidetracked.  I've lost my motivation.  I let myself "cheat" more and more.  But I kept my count on MFP.  Just 6 days ago I'd hit day 535.  Even if I wasn't logging everything that I ate, I was at least getting onto the website. And this morning to know that I didn't even realize that I missed a day made me extremely sad.  

Seeing that message this morning was reminder of just how far I've fallen.  I don't know what it will take to get back on track.  Maybe I need to really talk to someone.  Maybe I should stay off the website until I'm ready to be devoted again.  I really don't know but something has to change.  

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